Horner’s Love Corner: keep her in the dark, miserable and locked onto your positivity

Dear Horner’s Love Corner

I met a girl last week and we’re going to meet up this Saturday. I invited her to a show that a friend is putting on in a trendy part of east London however I didn’t tell her that it would be a punk rock show where maybe only three people turn up. Should I tell her what kind of music it is or just leave it for her to figure out herself when we arrive?


The Robster


Dear Robster,

Thank you for your enquiry. Wow, what a pickle we seem to have found ourselves in! I fear that your dilemma is one that will face you many times in the future. Do you give all your information at once? or hold back and see what happens? Modern day romance is a curious thing, it seems to spring up from nowhere and if you are not careful can disappear just as quickly. The key to longevity (I am presuming that you are keen to eventually marry this woman) is to allow your partners individuality to remain and flourish. If you tell her that it may be a small punk rock show then you are not allowing her to decide for herself. Moreover, you are giving her negative signals straight away. Men are like protons and women are like electrons. Electrons – being negative –  are attracted to protons because they are positive. (Please note female readers that positive and negative are arbitrary names that were given to explain the phenomena of how these particles interact. Protons could easily have been called sane and electrons could have been called mental). So there it is. If you become Mr Negative then you are taking away her individual role in the relationship. What you must do is keep her in the dark about what is going to happen on Saturday night. All you can hope for is that she comes to your punk rock show – you have a fantastic time and she remains miserable – locked onto your positivity.

It’s simple chemistry really…

I do hope this helps…